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15Apr/078

Bang Kieu- Ban Tinh Cuoi

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Composer: Ngo Thuy Mien
Lyrics Translation: Mikki
English Title: The Last Love Song

The rain is falling and the sunlight is fading
On the love I once had for you
I loved and I dream,
I dream of the stars and the moon that was delivered beside you
Only one encounter, yet it seems as if we already met ages ago
Only one encounter, yet it seems like it was ancient love

The cloud is vanishing and did you notice?
I hesitantly fall in love with you for the first time
I was intoxicated; my soul swooned
The fermented love was permeating my life
When was it that I silently walked beside you?
When was it that I haven't told you that I love you?

I loved you, loved you like I loved the innocent age
Beside you, beside you I serenaded the awaiting piece
Which day that you showed me love devotion?
Which day that you showed me the bitterness of love?

The rain have fell and the sunlight have faded
On the the love I had for you
I still love and my soul still swoons
After so many months and years of neglects
Some day, the familiar blue hair will fade its color
Some day, will I ever stop loving you?

Comments (8) Trackbacks (0)
  1. Really like your translation, and as literally, I thought you did a good job! Not to be nitpicking, but the last two lines: “Someday……..” I think it should be translated as “One of these days….” instead of “Someday”. There’s nothing wrong with the way you translated, it’s just “someday” sounds so far away, while “Mot ngay nao do” seems to indicate that it will come eventually. I’m not sure if you’ll get what I mean….

    Last but not least, the line “Next to you…..” while there’s nothing wrong with that, but I’d rather use “Besides you,” since “Next to you” sounds too heavy, and it doesn’t flow very well.

    You did a great job, anyway! I wouldn’t be able to come up with literal translation the way you did.

  2. Xaki, thank you for your suggestion. It is funny that the two phrases you suggested that I make changes to are the two phrases that I struggled with when translating.

    When I was translating, I was seriously considering to put “one of these days” instead of “some day” for “mot ngay nao do”, since “some day” seems so far away. And after several times of listening to the last line, “Mot ngay nao do ta co thoi het yeu nguoi”, I came to the conclusion that the last line is a rhetorrical question. The kind of rhetorical question that implies that the answer is obvious and does not need actually to be answered. So in that case “some day” makes a better fit because from my interpretation the author already know that he will not stop loving the woman who he phrased as his “last love”.

    And I also considered “beside you” before I finalized my translation, but I don’t remember how I came to choose “next to you” over “beside you”. However, after looking at it again, “beside you” does flows better. So I will change that phrase.

    One of the reasons I love these timeless songs such as the song “Ban Tinh Cuoi” is because the poetic lyrics and of the different meanings and emotions they stir up. Unfortunately, those things I love about them also became the difficulties when I translate such song. Since, it is really depend on one’s interpretation.

    There is one thing I learned while translating such song is to try to keep the composer original intends of the song, but at the same time not to be too direct that the lyrics became meaningless or difficult to understand in English. I think that’s what make a good translation.

    All in all, thank you for critically analyzed this song with me.

  3. Vietnamese songs are not my sort of entertainment, and very rarely do I listen to something like this, but I love this song.

    I listened to this song several times after I read your reply and I have to agree that, perhaps, “mot ngay nao do” is meant to be a rhetorical question, and that “mot lan nao do” is also a rhetorical question. In fact, I belive this whole song is talking about an unrequited love that he couldn’t get over.

    Thank you for pointing that out to me, and I think it’s quite clever of you to use the less literal translation of “mot ngay nao do” than the direct translation of what it’s really mean.

    I think when translating another language to English, not just Vietnamese, it is expected to lose a little bit of the original author’s intends. For instance, “Ben em, ben em ta hat khuc mong cho” can be literally translated either as “besides you, besides you I sing a song of waiting” or like you’ve translated as, “next to you, next to you, I serenaded the awaiting piece”. Either way, it worked, but as a whole, we have to put it into considering how other lines before that are translated, so what you’ve translated sound much better, and it flows very well with the rest of the song.

    I’d enjoy analyzing this song with you simply because how it’s poetically written in Vietnamese, and I really want those who do not speak/fluent in Vietnamese to understand the intentions of the Author through your translation.

    I hope you will continue to translate this type of songs in the future, and I’ll be more than happy to discuss it with you.

    You did a great job! I feel like I need to say that over and over again, because you are! Ngo Thuy Mien, if he’s still alive and could see it, he would be very proud of you as well.

  4. It’s a pity that you rarely listen to Vietnamese songs. I love Vietnamese songs, especially classic songs like this.

    And thank you for giving me such a compliment. I am unsure if I’m worthy of such praise, but you’re more than welcome to critically analyze with me the other Vietnamese lyrics translations that I did. And I can only hope that my lyrics translation did Ngo Thuy Mien’s “Ban Tinh Cuoi” justice. Hopefully, my translation will get non-Vietnamese as well as those who are not fluent in Vietnamese to start to appreciate Ngo Thuy Mien’s works.

  5. Could you translate “Niem Khuc Cuoi” as well? NTM has fabulous songs!

  6. Rachel, if I could find the video for it I will translate the song. =)

  7. hi mikki, your translation is really lovely. but i face diificult in singing practice. i must be wondered if you post your singing. thank

  8. Bài hat tuyệt thật, giọng Bằng Kiều lại càng hay. Tuy nhiên, thấy lời dịch tưởng rằng được nghe hát bằng tiếng Anh, mà không phải. Bọn Karaoke chúng tôi thi không thể nghêu ngao bằng lời của bản dịch này, tại vì khó thôi. Chúng tôi nhờ người chế ra bản này, bạn nào hat rồi post lên cho nghe qua một tẹo nhé. Khá giả yêu quý bạn đấy.

    —-

    Bản tình cuối
    My Last Love Song

    Ngô Thụy Miên
    NPC

    Though rain is on_or sky is cloudy,
    Thine love’d make_ my heart warmed,
    I did love_and I did dream,
    The stars _those came to brighten you.
    The awkward date,_you made me craisy.
    That only date,_never come again?

    Although you_didn’t know why
    I looked shy,_I looked awkward,
    B’cos I seemed_falling in love,
    That miracle _seemed reeling me.
    A time, I was _ walking by your side,
    I did attempt_but couldn’t say ‘’I love’’.

    In love, I did love_with my babyish heart,
    By you, my singing_made you wonder.
    That day, you gave me thine_wonderful love.
    Then, I could’t find you,_now where are you?

    Then sun had gone,_ and rain was on,
    And I haven’t _hope in a hell.
    I am loving_with mad heart and sole,
    Though thousand days_in hopelessness.
    One day, my hair_gets grey, I’ll be old.
    Will my love to you_run out_on that day?


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